Thursday, January 22, 2009

What Do You Want Your Life To Look Like?

I'd like to prompt some discussion over the next few days. A good friend asked me a question this week as we were discussing life and love over many bottles of wine...

"What do you want your life to look like?"

I didn't understand the question, so I had to ask her whether she meant from my eyes or others? The answer, of course, was to forget about what others see, what do you want your life to look like. I asked her to ask the question another way and she said...

"What does your dream life look like?"

Now, that's a series question. I'm a realist, so I can't live--nor do I want--the life of a celebrity that's lost all privacy. Though I often get tired of the world, I still need to be with the people and in it periodically.

So, tell me, what does your dream life look like?


Robert Zamees said...

So far, the comments that I've received from friends include:

- Balanced
- Do good
- Be a good example

But, there has to be more to it, right?

What do you want your life to look like?

Anonymous said...


Robert Zamees said...

Still... it's your life and how can you possibly say that you want it to look like one word or four or twenty-five... I'm not trying to make it more complex, but it should be, right?

Anonymous said...

I would be surprised if many would state more than what they could do as individuals or generalities unless they were single. As someone who is approaching 40 and now a single mother, I still have options because I am single although limited because I have to think of my children. Once someone is married and has children what kind of dreams can one have without hurting one of them? Wouldn’t those dreams have to include those important people in your life? What if you didn’t what it to include those people, do you dare speak of it? After a certain age wouldn’t thinking of dreams invoke thoughts of regret or even look at current discontentment that we have no power to change due to the overall good of the family unit? Personally my dreaming days are over but I do have some realistic achievable goals left in me.

Robert Zamees said...

I'm beginning to think that it's like a "Grey's" Dead Denny moment. He keeps driving Izzy mad by repeating over and over, "I'm here for you." While she thinks he says it out of support, he's really saying, "I'm here for you." He's there to deliver her from the real world to death.

So, when I think about what I want my life to look like, I wonder if we're all looking with the wrong glasses to begin with.

Anonymous said...

I want my life to look like a rainbow (yeah, cheesy, I know). It’s the best description I could come up with off the top of my head. All colors showing, all to be seen, hiding none.

Red – full of love and passion. For the wonderful, individual people in your life, the ones you would give your very life for. Not just feeling it, but showing it, on a daily basis, holding back nothing, and making sure the ones I love know it. And yes, this includes seeing in my life a passionate man to receive all the passion I have to give.

Orange – fun. What else could orange stand for? I don’t want my life to LOOK fun…I want it to BE fun. All of it. Even in the bad and trying times I have to see some fun and happiness. To be happy even when it’s difficult, that is what I strive for.

Yellow – giving & good for humanity. I want to see myself impacting the lives of others in a positive way. I want to know I do everything I can to make this world a little bit better.

Green – student. I want my life to look like an eager student, always wanting and trying to learn, on all levels. Learning about people, science, cooking, government, technology, religion, weather…everything. And keeping an open mind to understand and accept.

Blue – human, with failure. I want my life to show that I’ve learned from my mistakes and failures. I’ve slowly learned to embrace them. Actually I should say I’m still learning. I wouldn’t change my choices/mistakes/failures. I’ve learned from them. Sometimes they are difficult lessons and it takes awhile to figure them out, and they can be very painful, but in the end we have to find the lesson. I search for what I am to learn from them and want it to show.

Purple – adventure. I want my life to look like an adventure. One that I am open to and willing to let happen. That’s not always the case, but I’m working on it. I have to be the one to navigate it, but that doesn’t mean it always has to be methodically planned out, scheduled and analyzed. So many times I want to figure it all out instead of living it and taking it day by day.

But then again, on the simple and materialistic side, I just want my life to look "happy". Enough money to live and not worry. A man who loves me and is honest & faithful. A career I enjoy. Friends I love and love me as well. Maybe it's just that simple.

Charity Sherwood said...

Man, you really don't want to ask ME a question like THAT! Else it turn into a 50,000 word mission statement, or to others, perhaps a memo- in triplicate-- that they already received from their 5 bosses. Ha.

But here goes my verbose synopsis anyway... I want the life less ordinary, albeit that mostly can be obtained with one's perception of everyday nuances, so I s'pose that's achievable.

I hope to have a ripple effect of goodness on others gained(mostly) through my everday activities... perhaps a few extra seconds to listen to a stranger's story, or offer a sincere compliment, an acknowledging nod, an earnest hug, a heartfelt laugh, a shared tear, etc.

I want to learn more languages as I master my own. I want to wake up everyday beside someone and smile because I'm gut-happy and choose to be there, and not because I need to or am obligated. And of course for that other person to feel the same about moi.

Perhaps to get my writing together to publish something cohesive, but only if it makes someone feel something, expand their mind, or simply not feel isolated in their experiences or alone in their own thoughts.

I want to dine and drink well occasionally, dance frequently, continue to talk aloud to myself in public, overcome the fear of self-censorship, parasail, hot air balloon, learn to sculpt, read extensively, watch movies of all genres. Walk about and observe others as well as participate. Congregate with witty individuals that make me laugh and think over a beer or coffee. Do yoga and meditate. Live somewhere with public transit, yet find the time to cross the bridge and commune with nature. Watch the leaves fall, and the buds bloom, over and over and over again.

Simply put, I think I just want to really live, instead of just being alive. And sustain the focus to appreciate all the stories in, of, and around me in the process. I want to recursively and precursively build wisdom, patience, which fosters gratitude of the past, appreciation of the present, and fervid anticipation of tomorrow.

And I want to have lots of sensual sex with a meaningful partner fairly consistently along the way. That's always a bonus too.

I want to feel the ocean breeze through the taste of the grit of the salt in my teeth. And I want to see a rainbow skittle pooping reindeer (unicorn.)

That's my story today. Tomorrow, I'm sure there will be shades and hues of more or less and infinite things I've overlooked which lie in between the static fuzzy blanket of my mind. But that's the fun of living. The ability to evolve, and change.

Anonymous said...

Wait, you're being hypocritical: you asked me what I want MY life to look like. I told you and you categorized it. Perhaps I DO want my life to be summed up in one-word ideas. What's it to you?!?

Robert Zamees said...

Touche, though with no intent to be hypocritical. I'm always prone to maximum verbosity. I was trying to get inside of my own head by getting into the heads of others and I should realize that one word may just be the secret password to get there.

I've been working on my own answer... but keep the conversation coming.


Anonymous said...

Like the current state of the blankey my great grandmother made for me as an infant, but I still sleep with today. A calm, country scene, stitched by hand, lots of textures, the fabric not quite as bright, worn thin, but softer. The main characters still held in place by the original thread, all sheep and the lone wolf. A few fence posts long since pulled off, a few repaired, but some lost. A fine fray worked around the edges, but from a distance, so even it appears as another layer of fabric. Full of memories.

Robert Zamees said...

I completed my answer to the question, but it's about 800 words and in need of a sleep-on-it before I make it public to the world.


Anonymous said...

Rainbow girl here...
I find it very interesting the longer I think and ponder your question, the more answers and thoughts I get. It's complex. It's simple. My thoughts contradict themselves.
Thank you for asking the question. I will obsess over this for days...possibly longer.

Tess said...

A dream life? That is a really good question.

The obvious answer is happy and fulfilled, but the details of what that actually looks like are sketchy. This will require some thought when it's not one in the morning :-)

Anonymous said...

So I had this quandary when reading a book on Celtic Myth,and in the tale Queen Maeve the Goddess would grant the three deepest wishes of the poet/warrior/king's heart, but only if he could speak the, now get this, in the next breath.

That's a place I was not living out of. When I prepared myself to have those answers always at the ready, the path to them beggan to open.

Kelly Taylor said...

This is actually a question that I have asked myself several times over the years. It seems that the answer changes and yet stays the same too.

I have the same values, main purpose, and drives in life but how they show up (in what I choose to do) changes throughout my life.

It changed dramatically by having kids and took awhile for me to return to what I really wanted in my life. Major and even minor events always challenge me to really discover what I really want in life. And ultimately to live in a way that is true to me or not. When I am being honest about what I really want, I feel alive which to me is really the point of it all.

So I guess, the answer for me is I want my life to look like a reflection of my passions and values.

Robert Zamees said...

I've posted my answer in a separate blog post... please have a read!