The load in my drawers...

I have a problem in my home: I've reached the capacity of boxers and socks that my underwear drawer can handle.

Image by sunshinecity via Flickr

The decision that must be made:

• Should I toss some of my boxers, some of my socks or a little bit of both?
• Or, should I simply acquire more space for the boxers, the socks or for both?
• I suppose there could be a third option, where I could eliminate some of the older undergarments and clear the way for new ones by splitting them into separate socks and boxer drawers.
• Do nothing and see what happens?

My socks, in their infinite wisdom thought that they could solve the problem by getting together and deciding to match. Unfortunately, though there are a lot of them, their colors are different enough that matching is a bit of a challenge--an impossibility, really. But, not only that, they're unwilling to compromise with the boxers at all. (Let's be honest, boxers and socks have been fighting for attention since about 1860... that's even longer than the boxers vs. briefs debate).

The socks say, "You're already spending waaaaaay too much on boxers. In fact, we need to get rid of a lot of boxers to make room for all these new socks."

The boxers say, "Why don't we compromise and cut out some of the more worn articles of clothing (holes in the toes and worn elastic bands), and think about how we can make way for future expansion."

The socks, still trying to get to a place where they all match, are so inwardly focused that they are incapable of compromise. I peeked into the drawer where they were conversing and I was astonished to see that they'd all worn holes in themselves! They can't even agree with each other, let alone work on an agreement with the boxers! RIDICULOUS!

Meanwhile, the boxers have gone public--they've placed a sign on the drawer unit that says, "Will someone please call the socks and tell them how lame they are?"

GO BOXERS!

The boxers are willing to agree to cutting some of the older garments, but they also want to look to the future and pave the way for progress by raising rent payments to increase the coffers.

I tried to intervene by asking them all to consider a simple, logical plan: Get rid of the socks that don't match, toss out the boxers that are past their prime, leave the everyday socks and boxers where they are, and move the silk boxers and dress socks into the penthouse drawer in the top shelf and charge them a bit more in rent.

Can someone do the laundry? Can the washing machine "eat" a few of the socks? To tell you the truth, the socks and boxers have pissed me off enough that I think I'll go commando and wear flip-flops until the next paycheck... and, at such time, I'll replace them all.

PS: I've discovered something I never wanted to know: people actually post pictures of the underwear drawers online. Why?