Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Message of DOOM!

I always have unchecked voicemail. Always. I've taken to telling people that the best way to reach me by phone is to check your horoscope, rub your rabbit's foot and call in a few favors from your reserve shooting stars. I pretty much only answer my phone if it happens to be in my hand and I was about to send a text, but the phone rang in the millisecond before I hit send and accidentally hit answer. And it doesn't matter who you are: family, friends or potential true love.

So, why is it that I never check my voicemail?

Because I know there's an impending MESSAGE OF DOOM. Weird. I'm a glass half-full optimist, yet there is something leery about voicemail: hospitalization, breakups, accidents, emergency work initiatives... there must have been something in my past that I found out about through a voice message, though I can't think of what it might be. And it must have stuck to me like glue, because more often than not my voicemails are a bunch of messages about missing me and meeting up for drinks. All good.

So, to my peeps in the world I say, "Even though I rarely answer, keep calling! Your messages always make me smile when they aren't MESSAGES OF DOOM!"

However, if you want me to respond immediately, then I suggest a text message... or, if you must know, a stripper-gram.

[Post inspired by a friend's new blog. Check out Glenn Slonecker!]

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