My Best Buy Contest Submission

The following job description is my submission to the Best Buy job description contest... nothing to win but for a lil' writing fame.

RESPONSIBILITIES
The Sr Manager, Emerging Media Marketing must be able to, first of all, create an acronym for his or her title because saying the “Sr Manager, Emerging Media Marketing” each time the position is referred to will contradict one of the qualifications below: Efficiently manage one’s time. For the purpose of this job description, we will use “SM,EMM”, it’s up to you whether you wish to recognize the pause dictated by the comma in the title (however, please reread the qualification about time management).

The SM,EMM must be responsible, as this section suggests. Responsibility means being relied upon to make sound decisions on one’s own in accordance with the company message and be accountable for such decisions in the areas of strategy, budget and management. It also means that the employee mustn’t @ reply when the tweet called for the privacy of a DM. In emerging media, it is important to be authentic and accountable or someone will bust you. It is also important to remember that an organization has fewer than four hours to respond to any misleading or improper information posted online (such as videos taken by employees in the back of the store), therefore the SM,EMM must be available 24/7 in case of such emergencies.

This employee is required to understand as much as possible about the brands, products, initiatives and services of the company or, when in doubt, leverage the general public for the correct information since the internet has more information and has proven to be quicker to report it than any other medium.

There are a billion people in the world that can use the tools that the SM,EMM will have to use and there are a many who can tell a story, but few that can do both. The SM,EMM must be a master in the art of persuasive non-fiction through the channels of emerging media. Long gone are the days of epic public relations fables, today’s communications specialist must be eloquently pithy.

The SM,EMM must not only be virtual, but must interact with real people, as well. This position will serve as the liaison between the company and our agency partners. Developing a network to accomplish tasks is a must in this position and the SM,EMM should be an inspirational manager for all direct reports (a box of donuts goes a long way).

Be creative.

BASIC QUALIFICATIONS
Basic qualifications are like the sign at the amusement park, “You must be this tall to ride.”

• Equally be able to speak and write in proper English, but squeeze a message into as few characters as possible without sacrificing comprehension.
• Understand the difference between dialogue and monologue; in other words, the difference between conversation and broadcast.
• Efficiently manage one’s time. We realize that it’s very easy to get sucked into comments on status updates, so avoiding it when it isn’t in accordance with the company mission is a necessity.
• The internet is the best place to lie—you can be anyone you want online—therefore the SM,EMM must be real and truthful. The “Poke in the Arm” test may be administered at the interview.
• Be able to work with the following sites/tools: LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Plaxo, Google, Alltop, Backtype, Blogger, Ning, Tweetdeck, Seesmic, Squidoo, Twitter Grader, Friend or Follow, delicious, Slideshare, YouTube, Vimeo, StumbleUpon, Digg, PRWeb, Scribd, Flickr, WordPress, TypePad, Technorati, IceRocket, Tumblr, TipJoy, Alexa, Wikipedia, and BaseCamp (this list may change, in fact will change, with daily frequency).
• Understand the following acronyms: RSS, SEM, SEO, PPC, CPM, CPC, LOL, IMHO, WTF, API, B2C, B2B, CTR, IM, PV, RON, WWW, TTYL, LMAO, ROTFLMAO, WYSIWYG and, most importantly, RTFM.
• Own a smartphone (at least one) and have a bountiful data/text plan.
  

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS
Preferred qualifications are like paying for the picture that was taken at the end of the roller coaster ride; they’re nice, but not necessary.

• The Triple Crown of social networking: 1000 Twitter followers, 500 Facebook friends and 250 LinkedIn connections.
• Finalist in the speed-juggling of tasks across multiple browsers, browser tabs, desktop applications and devices.
• Nimbly tactile; no fumble-fingers will be hired.
• Understand and be able to operate under both intended and emergent strategies (be proactive and reactive).
• Viral, but not contagious.
  

OTHER
It is a common misnomer that multi-tasking is a desired job requirement. We are looking for someone who realizes that multi-tasking means that nothing is getting your full attention. Therefore, we prefer that the SM,EMM be able to transition between tasks quickly and fluidly without loss of energy or heat.

Being in “the now” is a must in this day and age. Pavlovian responses in meetings to texts, cell phones calls, instant messages, email dings, Skype bloops or calendar alarms will not be looked upon with favor. We recommend the SM,EMM be able to show up to meetings with paper and pen.

Have read the following: Made to Stick, The Tipping Point, Good to Great, Cluetrain Manifesto, New Rules of Marketing & PR, Groundswell, Tribes, Here Comes Everybody, Naked Conversations, Freakanomics, and Wisdom 2.0 (applicant will be asked to provide a book report for each).

Please vote for my job description NOW! The contest has ended, but feel free to visit the Best Buy IdeaX web site.