Monday, August 31, 2009

3 Steps to True Love

In talking to a Twitter friend last week about true love, I asked if she'd ever found it. Her answer, "Yes, but it didn't last." Didn't last? Is it possible that you can find true love, but that it won't last?

Wax seal on an envelopeImage via Wikipedia

Is that really true love?

I probed a bit deeper, it seems that it was true love for her, but not for the other party. Hmmm. Here's an angle that we don't discuss often, true love for one and not the other. So, I thought to myself, what is true love?

This 3-step plan formed in my head...
  1. Wanting to make promises to your partner.
  2. Making promises that you can keep.
  3. Keeping those promises, at least trying like hell to do so.
First of all, I want to make promises to you and with you. My desire to do so means that I want to make you happy; I want to improve and survive the things in life, together, hand-in-hand. Words can be so empty these days... how can young adults getting married not have in the back of their heads, "Well, it if doesn't take, we can always get divorced." It's a cynical view, but it's too prevalent not to wonder. Thick and thin, sickness and health, 'til death do us part... those are some serious things to say to each other. Yet, nearly half of marriages in the US dissolve. I'll say what I keep saying, we need to teach our kids how to look for love; understand who they are and what they need before choosing a partner.

Second, I want to make promises that I can fulfill. If I promise to lasso the moon, can I actually deliver? It's one thing to make poetic gestures, they always have a time and place, but in the real world, you must make promises that you can deliver. Be realistic, but challenge yourself. Some hurdles look high when you're alone, but with the right partner, you can give each other a leg up to best them.

Third, do whatever it takes to deliver on your promises. Don't give up. I promised to do something for us and I will find a way to do so. If you are making the right promises, you'll never be able to deliver on them all, but as long as you try like hell, failure is a normal course of events. But, you have to try like hell. More often than not, you can find an alternative, a work-around, another way, put your heads together and make use of that two-heads-are-better-than-one thing. How many times in the movies do we see a main character who wants to do something for their loved one, only to be frustrated by not being able to do so? But then, their partner says that everything will be okay, all I really want is you; none of that other stuff matters as much as you being here for me.

Make promises that you want to make; promises that you will try like hell to keep.
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