"... But I'm Going to Change!"

As I was running in the KC rain this morning, I thought about how funny we humans can be in our self-mental-medicating. In the middle of conversations, we find ways to insert a seal of approval on our behavior:

"Oh ya, I'm a little narcissistic."
"I can be a total bitch."
"I'm kinda lazy."

We say these things as if they are no big deal; as if our announcing them to our friends and ourselves makes it fair to act these ways... setting us up perfectly for the, "Well, I told you I act this way!"

Maybe we think that if we announce it, then we can accept it enough to attempt to deal with it. Maybe we're a little embarrassed by acting that way, but telling the world about it is a reach for someone else to identify with us and claim that they are the same way.

But, acceptance doesn't change behavior. Validation from peers doesn't help you to eat less, get off the couch, think about your selfish ways or think more about others and less about yourself. In fact, acceptance reinforces that it's okay to continue in the same behavior.

Next time you get the urge to say something negative about your self, add this to the end of it, "...but I'm going to change."

"Oh ya, I'm a little narcissistic, but I'm going to change."
"I can be a total bitch... but I'm going to try and be more thoughtful."
"I'm kinda lazy, but I'm trying to change by going for walks."

YES, while you're at it--if you're bold enough--tell the world HOW you're changing your behavior and my bet is that you'll find that your friends also identify with your attempt at change and validate the positive instead of the negative.

BET!

PSA About Trolls

This is a Public Service Announcement (PSA) to remind you to avoid getting sucked under the bridge where the trolls live.

Where there is internet, there will always be trolls--those that feed on and regurgitate negativity online.

Whether professionally or personally, it is your job to focus on the beef of the bell curve. The beef of the bell is not those that are fiercely loyal or those that are furiously rejecting; the beef of the bell is the meat of mankind--those that are on the fence or not too far from the fence and open to persuasion. Sit down and have a nice dinner with them and you'll be much happier than sitting at a moldy table eating rancid meat.

This concludes my PSA. Be well.

unemployed white trash party!

What Gifts Do You Have To Give?

For the last few days, I've asked this simple question on Twitter (follow me @zamees by clicking here):

What can you give someone that will positively impact their life, other than money?

Now, before I give you some of the answers, let me write a little bit about the root of the question. Donating money is always the easy way out and, in this age, we want more accountability from our charities and other non-profits. We want to know that the majority of our donation went to the benefit of those that the non-profit represents. We want to know that we sent enough malaria nets to save 10 children or gave enough to feed a football stadium of people. These visuals are tangible, more so than the thought of $1000, because what's $1000 here vs. there vs. somewhere else anyhow? It doesn't really tell me what impact I had on someone or something.

So, instead of giving money, what can we give that really has a life-changing impact on someone? Most of us don't have enough money to make a massive impact on someone's life anyhow. So, what can we give?

From my many followers on Twitter, I got these excellent answers (in no particular order):

• Understanding
• Time
• Smiles
• Knowledge/Training
• Friendship
• Love
• Trust

Amazing answers... they beg the next question, how do we give these to others?

What if we walked up to the house of an elderly person and said, "For the next hour, I'm at your service, what can I do for you?" What if we stood on the street corner of a busy tourist area with a sign held up that said, "Free Directions" or even one that said, "HONK and I'll SMILE!"?

Now, take it one more step, and what if millions of us did it all on the same day at the same time? It'd be damn easy to arrange!

Who wants in? Let's figure something out that's fun and impactful!

#iamthe, Translated "I am the..."

I started a fun creativity exercise today on Twitter (follow me @zamees). It's quite simple, really, all you have to do is finish the sentence, "I am the..."

Here are some of the creative things that have already been submitted:

• #iamthe girl your mother warned you about.
• #iamthe guilty pleasure that you can't do without.
• #iamthe marble that used to be in your pocket.
• #iamthe mystery of me.
• #iamthe terror that flaps in the night.
• #iamthe itch you just have to scratch.
  

GOOD STUFF!

Why am I doing this? I want to see where people fall on the attitude spectrum. Do they see themselves as something negative or something positive? With each new #iamthe that is submitted, I record it and then assign it a positive, negative or neutral value. Let's see what the score is when we get to 100 #iamthe's!

You can follow the Twitter responses by tracking the hashtag #iamthe, click here to see the search string and examples from other users.

You can also submit your #iamthe in the comments below or to @zamees on Twitter..