Image by photogeek133 via FlickrWe Americans, we love work. It's the hard work on the American Dream that drives us to make that move, inch toward happiness, aspire to become, ponder what we want to be when we grow up... the Protestant work ethic was part of our culture from the early days. It states that life with an emphasis on hard work is part of a person's calling, salvation, and a duty to one's self and one's society. So, it's a part of our fiber--who we are.
Yet, this question has been on my mind for some time, "If we love work so much, why are we so terrible at working on love?"
We have a tendency to believe that love should just exist. In fact, we so quickly enter into an expectation that the person we're interested in should be able to read our minds that's it's actually quite ludicrous--when you've known someone for years, maybe you get to know each other that well, but we expect it almost immediately. And that expectation sets one up for disappointment.
"Genius [Love] is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." -Thomas Edison
It doesn't have to be that way. When you adopt an attitude that love takes work, then you should also believe that you will inch your way toward the type of relationship you desire, just like you dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson
Try it, you'll like it. The next time you're not feelin' it, take a step back and think for a moment, then decide if it's something that you can articulate and work towards or if it's a real deal-breaker.