Thoughts that didn't want to be poetic...

A close friend said to me a few weeks ago, "I'm still working on myself." I was struck by the obvious: of course you are. To me, it's the nature of life to be constantly learning, reading, thinking, working on one's self. I want to understand how to run a better brainstorming session. I want to read more about story-telling. I want to be a better writer. I want to improve upon the strength that my shoulder and my ear often lend to others struggling with life's decisions.

Image by nerovivo via Flickr

Yes, I think we should all be "working" on ourselves.

The problem arises when working on yourself gets in the way of decision-making. When working on yourself becomes an excuse for inaction. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that this particular friend is in that position... maybe, maybe not... but I recommend to all that a position of allowing decisions to make themselves is no strong position at all. In the circumstance of indecision--do I want to do this or do I want to do that--

Oh hell, just say it and stop being verbose...

If you can't decide what to do about a decision that demands complete commitment, then the decision has already made itself. And, once you've accepted that reality, then the whole world of opportunity--a world meant for your happiness--opens up to you. The world will cease to be so suffocating; color will return with breath.

Get to Work!

Image by photogeek133 via Flickr

We Americans, we love work. It's the hard work on the American Dream that drives us to make that move, inch toward happiness, aspire to become, ponder what we want to be when we grow up... the Protestant work ethic was part of our culture from the early days. It states that life with an emphasis on hard work is part of a person's calling, salvation, and a duty to one's self and one's society. So, it's a part of our fiber--who we are.

Yet, this question has been on my mind for some time, "If we love work so much, why are we so terrible at working on love?"

We have a tendency to believe that love should just exist. In fact, we so quickly enter into an expectation that the person we're interested in should be able to read our minds that's it's actually quite ludicrous--when you've known someone for years, maybe you get to know each other that well, but we expect it almost immediately. And that expectation sets one up for disappointment.

"Genius [Love] is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." -Thomas Edison

It doesn't have to be that way. When you adopt an attitude that love takes work, then you should also believe that you will inch your way toward the type of relationship you desire, just like you dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson

Try it, you'll like it. The next time you're not feelin' it, take a step back and think for a moment, then decide if it's something that you can articulate and work towards or if it's a real deal-breaker.

Good love!