Speaking of Playing vs. Winning...

Having my own morning full of trial and error, which I don't mind at all. I've been meaning to try out Disqus on my blog ever since I first read about it on Fred Wilson' AVC Blog (an amazing read, btw). What is Disqus, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked...

Disqus (pronounced "discuss) enhances the comment system on blogs so that they can be threaded. In addition, it also allows me to comprehensively add connect APIs so that you can comment under the guise of your Facebook profile, et al.

Since I've been more actively blogging, I've seen pageviews increase and, likewise, comments. Before we explode in the comment unisphrere I thought it'd be a good idea to try this now, rather than later.

These types of things hit my limit of technical knowledge; I know just enough to get myself in trouble. So, for me, it comprises a learning experience where I seriously hope I don't blow something up. We've been talking about winning and losing... blowing this blog up would be a big LOSS, but I'd learn from it greatly and continue to play the game with my newfound knowledge! I'm not afraid of failure; it's a learning opportunity.

I've been getting many great comments from readers about how much they enjoy reading my posts. I thank you all and invite you to leave a quick comment on THIS post so that I can test whether I like the Disqus platform or not.

So tell me, do you like what the bigBADbobby has to say? (Be nice)

Is it about playing or winning?

I spent some much-needed time with family this past weekend; kid time is always good time... well, once you figure out how to get them to stop fighting over you.

My nephew is playing baseball this summer and his team has been doing very well. I'd planned to see him play on Friday night, but the other team didn't have enough players and had to forfeit. It dawned on me to ask, "Would you rather play and potentially lose or not play and win by forfeit?"

"Win by forfeit," he said.

"But you don't get to play," I clarified.

"But we win, right?" he replied.

He was right, they do win and I was right, they don't get to play. I remember when my Grandpa used to tell me about packing a sack lunch in the morning and walking to the baseball field. If two guys were there, then they'd play hot box. With three guys they could play Over the Line and, with more guys, they'd eventually be able to field full teams and play ball until they had to scamper home before dark.

PLAY ball, not WIN ball.

Why has our culture, maybe even the world, placed so much emphasis on the competition and not the activity? My phone is better than yours. My musical tastes are so much more interesting than yours. My life is better than yours. My car is cooler than yours. All of this points to some objective panel out there that determines what really matters in the world, when we all know that no such panel exists. Comparing phones or musical interests has nothing to do with some objective evaluation, your phone works for you and my phone works for me.

End of story.

In competition there are always winners and losers. If we make everything in life about a competition, then we'll always have winners and losers. Someone will win in a relationship and someone will lose. Someone will be a loser. Do you really want to spend all of your time in a relationship trying to beat your partner? No, I don't either. We have to accept that we will have differences between us and it doesn't make one trait better than the other.

I want to feel lucky that I've found love, not that I've won it be knocking over some milk bottles at a carnival. I want to be in a relationship where we work out problems together, not compete to see who can figure out the answer first. Or worse, play the "he said, she said" game everyday because we aren't able to communicate in the first place and someone needs to win.

I don't want to live in a world where I feel lucky that I won by forfeit; I want to feel lucky that had the opportunity to play.

What about you?