WILL TRADE CHEEZ-ITs FOR BOOZE!

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In my oh-so-intelligent manor (criminy, what is wrong with my spelling today) manner, I cleaned out the grocery store yesterday of crackers, breads, fruit--sustenance to ride out the pending, no LOOMING, threat of Winter Storm Catastrophe 2010--and yet, I forgot the most important life-giving ingredient: RED, RED WINE. It makes watching all the suckers out in the elements much, much more fun.

There is a reason why St. Bernards walk the mountains of the world with booze (brandy, they say) around their necks, it's needed for LIFE. I mean--seriously--I can melt some snow for water, but I sure can't fire up a still in the middle of nowhere. Do that Bear Grylls; teach us something we could really use, eh?

So, here I sit tortured by the various versions of the song (UB40 being the one that most of you likely know, though it was originally recorded by Neil Diamond), jonesin' for something to drink, but alas, this is a dry county with icy roads. I'm new here, but I've learned that the nearest liquor store is something like 12.5 miles away.

DOH!

Therefore, I will trade CHEEZ-ITs for your snowmobile, so that I may zoooom down the highway and snare a case of red wine... well, that is, unless you've got booze in your house and you're right across the street. In that case, I'll trade CHEEZ-ITs for your friendship (so I can get at your stores).

(All in jest). ;-)