The More Slowly You Drive...

Did you know: the more slowly you drive, the farther you can go?

Image by The Brucer via Flickr

We're often told this because the discussion is focused on the upper range of the speed limit. More gas is burned at higher speeds because resistance from wind increases dramatically and your car's engine must work harder to overcome it. However, there's a drop in efficiency when we drive too slowly, as well... 'cept we're rarely guilty of putting down the street at 2mph, you know? So, let's just focus on high speeds.

The trade off is time. Will you drive faster to get there more quickly because your time is valuable. In fact, for most, time is more valuable that what's in the tank.

What happens when we apply this principle to love?

I've believed for years that the longer we take to get to know each other, the farther we can go. I'm a fan of holding back on physical intimacy so that I can concentrate on really getting to know a woman. Am I good at doing so? Not really... except in those cases where distance has forced it upon me. The greatest relationships in my life have all had this in common--we got to know each other at a slow pace. When I jump in the sack, then I get too focused on the fun that's found in the sack.

Do you want to be happy in an instance or happy for the distance?

A few years ago, I started being in less of a hurry. When on the road, I began opting for the back roads, the one-light towns, a more intimate ride with nature instead of those behemoth machines that stop for nothing--not deer, not fuel, not unfortunate coupe--and accepted that the journey and the destination both have importance. I decided to be in the "here" instead of the "there."

My tank's been pretty empty lately because I'm a fuel snob. I only want to stop at those stations where I get the the full-service treatment: windows, oil, and high octane fuel. Unfortunately, they are few and far between... which means that I have to slow down a little bit if I want to make the distance between them. I have to plan out my route more than the next guy, which really might not be such a bad thing. I know I'll still get distracted by those new-fangled "Kum & Go" stations with their bright colors, flapping banners, and aisles of yummy good, but no-good-for-you snacks at those times when I'm tired or so empty that I have to drink from their tanks. However, I'm always better off if I can avoid them.

Unfortunately, the full-service stations aren't bound to return any time soon. We really must cherish their value. So, I'm gonna make sure that when I find one, I stop to fill up even if I only need a few gallons of fuel. Why? Because it's important to remember what really matters... taking care of your engine so that you can go the distance.

The Drama of the Big-a$$ Purse

Seems my "big-a$$" purse tweets are causing drama with those that have big-a$$ purses! If that simply proves my point, then read no further.

[Picture from People mag]

"So, what's the big deal, bigBADbob? Why do you say big-a$$ purses are red flags for drama-laden ladies?"

Oh, let me count the ways.

First, the purse should match the occasion, not a purse to match every occasion. Unless you are a toting the chillins, then you don't need all that crap in your bag. Your big-a$$ purse makes us realize that you can't make a damn decision to save your life, so you carry around everything to avoid making all the decisions about the things that should or should not be in a smaller purse.

"But big-a$$ purses are known to save lives!"

Poppy-cock. I'm sure that someone saved a life somewhere at sometime because of some random piece of junk, like a lid to a Bic pen, that was buried in the toe jam at the bottom of some lady's bag, but believe me, a similar Bic lid is in your clutch, too.

Second, big-a$$ purses may actually be linked to health concerns. From the Ergonomenon Blog:

“I see so many women with neck pains and headaches and what I usually do is look for their purse and pick it up,” said Jane Sadler, a family practice physician on the medical staff at Baylor Medical Center in Garland, Texas."

“We take it over to the scale and weigh it and usually they’re anywhere from 7 to 10 pounds (3.1-4.5 kgs)…We’re really going to see women with more and more problems later on if we continue the big [a$$] purse craze.”

On a side note, one big-a$$ purse nearly knocked me off the sidewalk when it unexpectedly entered my path while running earlier today. I apologized, but perhaps it should have been the other way around.

"But my big-a$$ purse makes my a$$ look smaller!"

Third... um, yeah... we men are are already trying to figure out what you look like without your clothes on, so you think that big-a$$ purse is anywhere in the same galaxy as the image that we are trying to form of you in the shower?

Fourth, due to the weight of that big-a$$ purse, you are actually expending more gasoline to drive around in your car. That, plus the expense of said big-a$$ purse is probably taking a toll on your pocketbook. To apply true logic here, your lighter pocket book means that you don't have as much to carry, hence no need for the big-a$$ purse.

Say no to big-a$$ purses.