Welcome Back to the Neighborhood, and...

A few weeks ago, there was a massive landing of Eagles in the Kansas City area for what was, literally, a week and a half of events. I missed most of them, but that's just my style. I didn't much hang out with my class when I was an underclassmen because I was playing varsity sports and letting the upperclass(wo)men pinch my cheeks at parties. And, when I was an upperclassman, I had my core group of cronies and didn't much expand beyond that group for activities aside from under-age drinking. Plus, when I graduated from high school, I left town and didn't return for almost 20 years.

My hindsight report:

• Some of us changed; some of us didn't.
• Some reverted to old roles; some just stayed in their mountainside holes.

... and some of us just came as someone else, showed up late and left early. I love ya, Eagles, but I need more personal connection than can be found in a room of 100 peeps. I'm not one to "be seen," I'd rather be enjoyed while I enjoy the you that you've become.

But, what I'm here to discuss is reversion or digression, whatever you'd like to call it. It was fascinating to see us re-assume our old roles in our conversations. I'm not here to say that we dusted off the clothes of the enforcer, the thief, the kind-heart and the smart but we definitely smelled of their essence. We'd talk and I'd wait for a prime moment, while everyone was listening, to chime in. The thief would talk of his conquests. The kind-heart would laugh gullibly, but sincerely. And, the enforcer would talk of his confident actions. We played our roles well, it was good to be them again to relive the past and talk of the future.

The question is, did we revert or have these roles always been there?

It felt odd to me, as if I did revert back to trying to be a little more cool than I really am. Hey, I have conquests, too. Hey, I have plans, too. But that's never been my style. Just hasn't. I think everyone just assumed that I'd done everything that I set out to do... and I have, aside from some very big goals that are so close that I can almost touch them.

It wasn't clear to me whether we revert or embody until I saw a role a few days later that I hadn't seen in all of the previous encounters of the reunion days; the role of the fool. When the fool presented himself, it was obvious that we are who we were. That's not to say that the fool is still doing the same foolish things that he did 20 years ago (well, in this case, maybe he is). However, it's not to say that the enforcer is still a physical enforcer, he's forcing the world to bend to his dreams. It's not to say the thief is still jacking cars, he's sly in his manner of business networking and getting people connected. And the kind-heart, unfortunately, the kind-heart is punishing himself for things that were never his fault.

I believe, to some degree, we've changed, but we are still who we were... and, for those who've asked, I've no desire to go back, even if I could take my smarts with me.

Musing the Happiness Question

It's been many months ago, maybe even a year ago, while sitting in one of my favorite Capitol Hill restaurants, a friend asked, "What do you want to do?" I'd just begun my journey as a writer and was still trying to be a marketer, so I was stumped. I offered her off-the-cuff answers that were more deflections than anything else, but she wouldn't have it. "What do you want to do?" she continued to ask.

I realized that I was afraid to say what I really wanted to do. Maybe it was because I felt so far away from it or maybe it was because I really didn't quite know how to accomplish it. So, I began with the macrocosm in my thoughts--the big things that I wanted--and hoped that it would eventually allow me to dial in to the microscope of specifics on how to get there.

Macrocosm:

• Contribute to the world's greater good.
• A circle of friends I can trust, know what matters (and what doesn't) and will wax on it until the wee hours of morning (preferably with wine).
• Have influence, not through power, but through connection. I want to connect as many people as I can to their a-ha moments.
• Enjoy life with my eyes open, in all the frustration and happiness that entails.
  

I was reminded of this conversation last week when my goals were knocked off track by two friends, one foolish and one hypercritical, that set me back a few days. What's a few days in one lifetime, you might ask? Well, maybe not much, but if I'm going to dwell in them, then I better make sure I learn something from them, so I went back and reread my "Warrior of the Light" emails from favored author Paulo Coelho:

• Life is not about the collection of bright, shiny things that make you inferior/superior to your peers.
• When you dream of having everything, is that dream material, emotional, ideal?
• What is your life purpose? What do you do when you have a set back from it?
• "Negative desires can cause no harm if you don’t let yourself be seduced by them.”
• "If everything went the way we wanted, soon we would no longer have anything to write about." [Don't I know that's the damn truth!]
• Relax... and pay attention.

"The true warrior of light believes. Just like children believe. Because they believe in miracles, the miracles begin to happen. Because they are certain that their thoughts can change their lives, their lives begin to change. Because they are certain they will find love, this love appears. Sometimes they are disappointed. Sometimes they feel hurt. Then they hear the comments, 'You are so naïve!' But the warrior knows it is worth the price. To each defeat, there are two conquests in his favor."

I came back to the light... well, that isn't exactly true... someone I'd never before met walked into my darkness, grabbed my hand, smiled, provided me with a Happiness Opportunity and then beckoned me to come with her back toward the light. With my own smile, we walked side-by-side out of the darkness and found an oak tree as old as the world and sat under it for awhile to take in the view and talk about life.

I'm still trying to fully commit to a belief that I'm actually doing what I want to do. With each person that reviews my book, I know that I'm closer to being what I want to be; doing what I want to do. It's miraculous to think that I might be making steps more toward my purpose, but that's the way that it's supposed to feel, I'm sure of it.

So, I'm going to let the breeze running up the grassy hill blow through my hair, feel in-tune with the elements and learn about the angel that found me in the dark... and didn't pull me from it, but had the courage to enter it and ask me if I'd like to join her in the light.

29/52: "The System's Bitch" by John Wright

Book 29/52: "The System's Bitch" by John Wright, 3/5 Stars

Though I've never met the author, he is a long-time friend of someone in my family, which is how his book came into my hands.

Any man married to the same woman for the majority of the time that he's been on the planet and who shepherded three daughters into the their adult lives with her... well, that man deserves to have his book read.

"The System's Bitch" is a humorous take on Mr. Wright's customer service experiences over the years. He writes with a straight-forward wit that makes getting through the book an easy and delightful process. His take on the world is one of common sense and he asks why we put up with the things we do as the desirable quantity--the customer.

Convenience has swung from the customer to the business. In other words, the business now finds it convenient to charge more for less because we accept it as a bitch of "The System."

I can relate to Mr. Wright because I have the worst customer service karma there is and I've not found what is supposed to be balancing it on the other side. For my bad traffic karma, I have good parking karma; makes sense, right? But, when my water gets shut off because the water utility changed their billing address and didn't tell my Bank ePay or DirecTV phantom charges me a buck here and a buck there for three straight months when my service was supposed to off while I was in the process of a move or when my health insurance provider fails to charge my credit card and then sends me a letter, which by the time I receive it and respond my insurance has been canceled (you couldn't pick up the phone and call me? Seriously, I pay YOU and you just let it cancel?)... well, I know what it's like to be "The System's Bitch."

The only criticism that I have of the book is that it is fully intended to be a rant, as far as I can tell. And, although the squeaky wheel, when screaming, often gets greased, I don't typically find favor in simply shouting... I always try to find a way to take one more step and relate to some way that we can make the world a better place, either through action or enlightenment.

So, let's look for him to focus on the solutions instead of the problems in his next book!
GOAL: 52 books in 52 weeks!

Book #28 = "Twitter Power" by Joel Comm, 3/5 Stars
Book #27 = "The Cluetrain Manifesto" by LLSW, 3/5 Stars
Book #26 = "What Kind of World Do You Want?" by Jim Lord, 5/5 Stars
Book #25 = "The New Rules of Marketing & PR" by David Meerman Scott, 4/5 Stars
Book #24 = "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell, 3/5 Stars
Book #23 = "Lisey's Story" by Stephen King, 1/5 Stars
Book #22 = "My Favorite Place on Earth" by Jerry Camarillo Dunn, 4/5 Stars
Book #21 = "Wisdom 2.0" by Soren Gordhamer, 4/5 Stars
Book #20 = "Oath Of Gold" by Elizabeth Moon, 5/5 Stars
Book #19 = "The Age Of Engage" by Denise Shiffman, 3/5 Stars
Book #18 = "What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20" by Tina Seelig, 4/5 Stars
Book #17 = "Animal Farm" by George Orwell, 4/5 Stars
Book #16 = "Divided Allegiance" by Elizabeth Moon, 3/5 Stars
Book #15 = "The Curious Incident of the Dog..." by Mark Haddon, 2/5 Stars
Book #14 = "The Sheepfarmer's Daughter" by Elizabeth Moon, 3.5/5 Stars
Book #13 = "Love Is The Killer App" by Tim Sanders, 4/5 Stars
Book #12 = "Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk, 4.5/5 Stars
Book #11 = "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger, 5/5 Stars
Book #10 = "The Finder" by Colin Harrison, 3.5/5 Stars
Book #9 = "Veronika Decides To Die" by Paulo Coelho, 1/5 Stars
Book #8 = "By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept" by Paulo Coelho, 3/5 Stars
Book #7 = "Stiff" by Mary Roach, 2/5 Stars
Book #6 = "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, 1/5 Stars
Book #5 = "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, 3/5 Stars
Book #4 = "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, 2/5 Stars
Book #3 = "The Good Guy" by Dean Koontz, 3/5 Stars
Book #2 = "My Ishmael" by Dan Quinn, 2/5 Stars
Book #1 = "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho, 3.5/5 Stars

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