Showing posts with label bigbadbob. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bigbadbob. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Poetry in a Pub
However, I seldom get anything done, because whomever sits next to me wants to know who I am and what I'm doing. And, I'm okay with that. Strangers have a tendency to tell me their innermost challenges and/or secrets. Last night I spoke to a man who's son died in Iraq in 2007 and another who made an instantaneous career change from drug dealer to engineer. Do I believe him? It doesn't matter, I enjoyed the conversation... and these conversations often make their way back into my stories once I trade the Guinness for hot tea in a coffee shop where I'm less likely to be engaged.
Though I know it to be true--this inability to actually write in a pub--it doesn't keep me from trying. When I backpacked around Europe I spent many hours in Irish pubs recording my adventures and thoughts, there is something to be said for the few minutes of patience that a freshly poured Guinness requires. FOR HEALTH! Those minutes are all I need to get started on my next thought, and getting started is always about 95% of my battle.
Last night I was trying to write poetry, but the real verse I found was in conversation... it wasn't in rhyme, but still a good time.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Speaking of Playing vs. Winning...
Having my own morning full of trial and error, which I don't mind at all. I've been meaning to try out Disqus on my blog ever since I first read about it on Fred Wilson' AVC Blog (an amazing read, btw). What is Disqus, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked...Disqus (pronounced "discuss) enhances the comment system on blogs so that they can be threaded. In addition, it also allows me to comprehensively add connect APIs so that you can comment under the guise of your Facebook profile, et al.Since I've been more actively blogging, I've seen pageviews increase and, likewise, comments. Before we explode in the comment unisphrere I thought it'd be a good idea to try this now, rather than later.
These types of things hit my limit of technical knowledge; I know just enough to get myself in trouble. So, for me, it comprises a learning experience where I seriously hope I don't blow something up. We've been talking about winning and losing... blowing this blog up would be a big LOSS, but I'd learn from it greatly and continue to play the game with my newfound knowledge! I'm not afraid of failure; it's a learning opportunity.
I've been getting many great comments from readers about how much they enjoy reading my posts. I thank you all and invite you to leave a quick comment on THIS post so that I can test whether I like the Disqus platform or not.
So tell me, do you like what the bigBADbobby has to say? (Be nice)
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Objective Observer. Passive Participant.
We all do it; we sit there watching a movie or the television and we scream at the woman to watch where she's running so she won't trip and get decapitated by the evil bad guy... we yell at the man to turn around and tell the woman of his dreams how he really feels because she's there waiting for him to declare his love.
We know what to do when we're the objective observer. Why do we so often miss the right thing to do when we have to do it ourselves?
I know, there's a whole industry dedicated to this: objective observers telling us what to do with our lives. I'm going to start a competitive product, the "Step Outside of Yourself Pill." It'll be a marketing sensation, the killer app (pill), and we'll make a bankload of dough because everything in life will suddenly become totally obvious. In fact, we'll ship it with a bag of microwave popcorn and a small soda so you can feel like you're watching your own movie--the movie of your life.
Jump out. Jump back in. Live life to win.
We know what to do when we're the objective observer. Why do we so often miss the right thing to do when we have to do it ourselves?
I know, there's a whole industry dedicated to this: objective observers telling us what to do with our lives. I'm going to start a competitive product, the "Step Outside of Yourself Pill." It'll be a marketing sensation, the killer app (pill), and we'll make a bankload of dough because everything in life will suddenly become totally obvious. In fact, we'll ship it with a bag of microwave popcorn and a small soda so you can feel like you're watching your own movie--the movie of your life.
Jump out. Jump back in. Live life to win.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
11/52: "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Neffenegger
Book #11 = "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger, 5/5 StarsMy reawakening is because of this book, "The Time Traveler’s Wife," and because of you. My heart is opening up, once again, to the prospects of love, to the idea of love, the pangs and passion of love. The roads that I'm traveling bring me nowhere closer to you, but at the same time, they are teaching me so much about you. For several days I couldn’t put this book down. At the end of five hundred plus pages, I'd become the main character, you'd become the love of my life; with all of our great ups and downs--more ups than downs--a lifeline extended from this book and plugged into my soul at the point where it called your name... from there onward, I laughed and ultimately cried... twice.
Lifeline connection? Yes, the point where the proof was evident that this book is analogous to who we were, are and will be together. It’s a feeling in the bones where they have been tuned and resonate all at once. WHAM! That point. “Oh shit,” I said, and you’ll say the same when you read it.
GOAL: 52 books in 52 weeks!
Book #10 = "The Finder" by Colin Harrison, 3.5/5 Stars
Book #9 = "Veronika Decides To Die" by Paulo Coelho, 1/5 Stars
Book #8 = "By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept" by Paulo Coelho, 3/5 Stars
Book #7 = "Stiff" by Mary Roach, 2/5 Stars
Book #6 = "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, 1/5 Stars
Book #5 = "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, 3/5 Stars
Book #4 = "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, 2/5 Stars
Book #3 = "The Good Guy" by Dean Koontz, 3/5 Stars
Book #2 = "My Ishmael" by Dan Quinn, 2/5 Stars
Book #1 = "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho, 3.5/5 Stars
READ!
Monday, March 02, 2009
bigBADbobism: The 3 Nakeds
I've started writing short columns as means to building a readership, so please take the time to forward my bigBADbobisms to one friend if you enjoy reading them!
--
“What are you wearing right now?”
This question, which often gets asked over a medium that lacks sight—IM, phone, email—can basically be answered in any way that you like because it’s not about what you’re wearing; it’s about what you say that you’re wearing. On the Internet or the phone you can be, or wear, anything that you want.
In person, it’s a completely different story.
There are three types of Nakeds in the world: the Be Nakeds, the Get Nakeds and the No Nakeds.
Be Nakeds are those that like to be without clothes at every available opportunity. They hang out in their houses naked, surf the web naked and are the first to ditch the dungarees and skinny dip in the nearest naturally occurring body of water. Be Nakeds aren’t ever in a hurry to put their clothes back on once they’ve come off.
The class of Get Nakeds enjoy taking their clothes off—or having them removed—but after they’ve spent some time in the lands of Be Naked, the Get Nakeds find an excuse to put their clothes back on. These are the types that take off their swimsuit after they’ve submersed themselves in the hot tub, making sure not to fling the suit itself out of reach so they can put it back on before they get out.
And then there are the rare, and hard to identify, No Nakeds; they wander among us in places where there is no chance that clothes will become optional. Unfortunately, Be Nakeds and Get Nakeds are also often found in the same places. No Nakeds don’t want to have anything to do with being naked and don’t want anyone to see them naked. Yet, we never know who they are until it’s too late.
How did this come about? Once upon a time, in the Land of Naked, there was no such thing as clothes. The people slept naked, danced naked and loitered naked. The climate was perfect, so clothes were not needed. Unfortunately, one night Mother Nature went on a drunken binge and hooked up with Old Man Winter at his place. The next morning she felt so distraught that, during her walk of shame, she decided to improve her attitude by raining some bitter temperatures down upon the people of the land. She was instantly satisfied when she saw them scramble to clad themselves with leaves, animal skins and tree bark. Among them, a young female entrepreneur saw the opportunity and fashion was born. She quickly hired fellow Nakeds to sew and barter her wares, further dividing the Nakeds into Haves and Have Nots, though the Have Nots labeled themselves as Traditionalists. Ultimately, this divided the Nakeds into three classes: Be, Get and No.
With the division of classes came the cultural aspect of modesty. The Nakeds began judging each other in an attempt to prove that their way was the way one should live. Shame befell those that wanted, but could not have. Conceit grew in the minds of those that had. With time, disputes would rage between the classes and the world would never again see peace.
I find it odd that eight of the fifteen definitions found for “naked” on dictionary.com denote something “lacking” or “inadequate.” Many of us are ashamed of our bodies, which often dictates which class of Naked that we fall into. Therefore, to make matters easier and to, perhaps, end all wars, I offer the following new set of rules:
• Be upfront with your Naked Class.
• Some Get Nakeds can date Be Nakeds, but not all Be Nakeds can date Get Nakeds.
• No Nakeds must date each other and no one else.
Personally, I’m a Get Naked. I’ve dated all three types and the No Naked class is the one that I need to avoid. When she locks the door while brushing her teeth, that’s a sure sign of a No Naked. It has nothing to do with the teeth; it has everything to do with not wanting to be seen while showering, dressing or applying the layer of makeup that serves as a second skin between her nakedness and the world.
In the beginning I asked, “What are you wearing?” Perhaps the better question has less to do with clothes and more to do with the lack of them,
“What kind of Naked are you?”
[If you'd like to re-publish this article as content for your newspaper, magazine, or other periodical, please contact me. I only ask that publishers provide a link back to my blog. Thanks!]
--
“What are you wearing right now?”
This question, which often gets asked over a medium that lacks sight—IM, phone, email—can basically be answered in any way that you like because it’s not about what you’re wearing; it’s about what you say that you’re wearing. On the Internet or the phone you can be, or wear, anything that you want.
In person, it’s a completely different story.
There are three types of Nakeds in the world: the Be Nakeds, the Get Nakeds and the No Nakeds.
Be Nakeds are those that like to be without clothes at every available opportunity. They hang out in their houses naked, surf the web naked and are the first to ditch the dungarees and skinny dip in the nearest naturally occurring body of water. Be Nakeds aren’t ever in a hurry to put their clothes back on once they’ve come off.
The class of Get Nakeds enjoy taking their clothes off—or having them removed—but after they’ve spent some time in the lands of Be Naked, the Get Nakeds find an excuse to put their clothes back on. These are the types that take off their swimsuit after they’ve submersed themselves in the hot tub, making sure not to fling the suit itself out of reach so they can put it back on before they get out.
And then there are the rare, and hard to identify, No Nakeds; they wander among us in places where there is no chance that clothes will become optional. Unfortunately, Be Nakeds and Get Nakeds are also often found in the same places. No Nakeds don’t want to have anything to do with being naked and don’t want anyone to see them naked. Yet, we never know who they are until it’s too late.
How did this come about? Once upon a time, in the Land of Naked, there was no such thing as clothes. The people slept naked, danced naked and loitered naked. The climate was perfect, so clothes were not needed. Unfortunately, one night Mother Nature went on a drunken binge and hooked up with Old Man Winter at his place. The next morning she felt so distraught that, during her walk of shame, she decided to improve her attitude by raining some bitter temperatures down upon the people of the land. She was instantly satisfied when she saw them scramble to clad themselves with leaves, animal skins and tree bark. Among them, a young female entrepreneur saw the opportunity and fashion was born. She quickly hired fellow Nakeds to sew and barter her wares, further dividing the Nakeds into Haves and Have Nots, though the Have Nots labeled themselves as Traditionalists. Ultimately, this divided the Nakeds into three classes: Be, Get and No.
With the division of classes came the cultural aspect of modesty. The Nakeds began judging each other in an attempt to prove that their way was the way one should live. Shame befell those that wanted, but could not have. Conceit grew in the minds of those that had. With time, disputes would rage between the classes and the world would never again see peace.
I find it odd that eight of the fifteen definitions found for “naked” on dictionary.com denote something “lacking” or “inadequate.” Many of us are ashamed of our bodies, which often dictates which class of Naked that we fall into. Therefore, to make matters easier and to, perhaps, end all wars, I offer the following new set of rules:
• Be upfront with your Naked Class.
• Some Get Nakeds can date Be Nakeds, but not all Be Nakeds can date Get Nakeds.
• No Nakeds must date each other and no one else.
Personally, I’m a Get Naked. I’ve dated all three types and the No Naked class is the one that I need to avoid. When she locks the door while brushing her teeth, that’s a sure sign of a No Naked. It has nothing to do with the teeth; it has everything to do with not wanting to be seen while showering, dressing or applying the layer of makeup that serves as a second skin between her nakedness and the world.
In the beginning I asked, “What are you wearing?” Perhaps the better question has less to do with clothes and more to do with the lack of them,
“What kind of Naked are you?”
[If you'd like to re-publish this article as content for your newspaper, magazine, or other periodical, please contact me. I only ask that publishers provide a link back to my blog. Thanks!]
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Pint don't rhyme, foo!
Well, when I reached my hand down into my pocket what I pulled out: lent. All my money spent so I cain't even pay the rent. The whole world's twisted in this f$^ked bent that the only way to get a job is when someone gives you a hint, but that cent don't make a dent in what we owe to the credit card gent. I guess I'll just pitch a tent at the mint so I can vent about money sent. Before it came, it up and went.Time for one more pint. A'ight?
6/52: "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez
Book #6 = "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, 1/5 StarsThank God this book ended before Fermina changed her mind again. I think, perhaps, the only way Garcia-Marquez could have saved a scathing review from me would have been to have Fermina's ear ache translate to some brain tumor that ended her life in an instant, falling over the edge of the river boat and Florentino, in an attempt to retrieve her limp body, drowned in the whirlpools of the river. I don't think I've ever read a more wishy-washy book about people that need to get over themselves and learn how to think in my life. FAIL.
GOAL: 52 books in 52 weeks!
Book #5 = "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, 3/5 Stars
Book #4 = "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, 2/5 Stars
Book #3 = "The Good Guy" by Dean Koontz, 3/5 Stars
Book #2 = "My Ishmael" by Dan Quinn, 2/5 Stars
Book #1 = "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho, 3.5/5 Stars
Friday, February 06, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A Message To All Women
The message is simple...
STOP ACTING LIKE GIRLS!!!
I've recently watched all six seasons of "Sex and the City" at the behest of a woman I was dating. She said, "You could learn a lot by watching it." I wasn't one to disagree, for I'd never seen any of it and I believe that there are always things that one can learn. I must say, if the ladies spent less time talking to each other and more time talking their men that they'd be 1). Less psychotic, 2). More happy, 3). Focused on what matters in life.
The irony lies in one simple thing, she who asked me to watch, perhaps, needs to watch it again herself.
Conversation is what we'll always have as we grow old together, so there's no time like the present to start talking to each other. Your skeletons or your neuroses will eventually come out of the closet if you end up together. SATC is about four women who try to hide who they really are... like that's ever going to work. They strive for something perfect, when perfection isn't something that Americans believe in... perfection means that it can't be improved.
Personally, I'm miffed when someone thinks that they can "hook" me and then start to reveal what's wrong with them. Woman, just lay it all out on the table: childhood abuse, confidence, NBI, half empty glass, anorexia, unhappiness, lack of job satisfaction, broken heart, closet smoker... just give it up; our imperfections are what make us unique. If it isn't going to work later because of these, then it might as well come out now.
But, I ramble, I really just wanted to make one point--and make it loud and clear. If you don't talk to me, then I'm never going to know what's on your mind. Err on the side of telling me too much than telling me too little. I'm not a fucking mind-reader.
So, this woman I mention, she...
I've been guilty of dating immature woman, which my friends have tagged as "girls," and I've honestly been trying to avoid that trap. It would sure help my cause if y'all immature girls would quit disguising yourselves as women.
Seriously.
Okay, I got all of that out of my system. Next?
PS: The Big A$$ purse theory is alive and well.
STOP ACTING LIKE GIRLS!!!
I've recently watched all six seasons of "Sex and the City" at the behest of a woman I was dating. She said, "You could learn a lot by watching it." I wasn't one to disagree, for I'd never seen any of it and I believe that there are always things that one can learn. I must say, if the ladies spent less time talking to each other and more time talking their men that they'd be 1). Less psychotic, 2). More happy, 3). Focused on what matters in life.
The irony lies in one simple thing, she who asked me to watch, perhaps, needs to watch it again herself.
Conversation is what we'll always have as we grow old together, so there's no time like the present to start talking to each other. Your skeletons or your neuroses will eventually come out of the closet if you end up together. SATC is about four women who try to hide who they really are... like that's ever going to work. They strive for something perfect, when perfection isn't something that Americans believe in... perfection means that it can't be improved.
Personally, I'm miffed when someone thinks that they can "hook" me and then start to reveal what's wrong with them. Woman, just lay it all out on the table: childhood abuse, confidence, NBI, half empty glass, anorexia, unhappiness, lack of job satisfaction, broken heart, closet smoker... just give it up; our imperfections are what make us unique. If it isn't going to work later because of these, then it might as well come out now.
But, I ramble, I really just wanted to make one point--and make it loud and clear. If you don't talk to me, then I'm never going to know what's on your mind. Err on the side of telling me too much than telling me too little. I'm not a fucking mind-reader.
So, this woman I mention, she...
- Broke up with me via email. Childish. (See Berger's Post-It)
- Always assumed the worst. (See Carrie's insanely psychotic neurosis)
- Made up her own mind instead of talking about things. (See Miranda)
- Was sarcastically hurtful. (I don't have a character for that)
I've been guilty of dating immature woman, which my friends have tagged as "girls," and I've honestly been trying to avoid that trap. It would sure help my cause if y'all immature girls would quit disguising yourselves as women.
Seriously.
Okay, I got all of that out of my system. Next?
PS: The Big A$$ purse theory is alive and well.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
WAKE UP Post: Anti-human
Go away you's that are sick, you's that are tired, you's that are poor...
I'm in my anti-human phase--tired of this planet and ready for a new one--which comes about once in awhile when I really have to focus on something important. I don't fully focus on myself very often, but this book that I've been writing has been consuming. The more I write, the more I realize what I'm trying to say.
It's a drug, this writing stuff. Gimme mo!'
This focus-on-myself phase often manifests itself in the real world as an I-don't-give-a-flying-fook attitude. And, come on, we all know that's exactly what it is.
I need a haircut, but why? Let it grow. Let yourself flow. Slow & lo.
I need to shave, but why? Grizzle my chinizzle.
I need to air out the boy-smell in my condo, but why? It's my cave.
I read. I write. I watch. I welcome the insanity of the task.
I'm in my anti-human phase--tired of this planet and ready for a new one--which comes about once in awhile when I really have to focus on something important. I don't fully focus on myself very often, but this book that I've been writing has been consuming. The more I write, the more I realize what I'm trying to say.
It's a drug, this writing stuff. Gimme mo!'
This focus-on-myself phase often manifests itself in the real world as an I-don't-give-a-flying-fook attitude. And, come on, we all know that's exactly what it is.
I need a haircut, but why? Let it grow. Let yourself flow. Slow & lo.
I need to shave, but why? Grizzle my chinizzle.
I need to air out the boy-smell in my condo, but why? It's my cave.
I read. I write. I watch. I welcome the insanity of the task.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Why are you such a freak show?
Freaky-deeky.
Does telling you that I'm hanging out in my PJs, sipping tea with milk, staring out the window and wondering what it is that I really should be doing say anything?
NO.
Then, why do so many people feel like they need to broadcast things that the rest of us don't give a HOOT about?
I dunNO.
If you're going to waste time on the Internet, you might as well do/say something different, unique and maybe a little freaky.
After all, you're still reading, right? You're still checking my Facebook page, right? You've no idea what I'm going to say next, right? You're following me on Twitter, right?
You betchu are.
Does telling you that I'm hanging out in my PJs, sipping tea with milk, staring out the window and wondering what it is that I really should be doing say anything?
NO.
Then, why do so many people feel like they need to broadcast things that the rest of us don't give a HOOT about?
I dunNO.
If you're going to waste time on the Internet, you might as well do/say something different, unique and maybe a little freaky.
After all, you're still reading, right? You're still checking my Facebook page, right? You've no idea what I'm going to say next, right? You're following me on Twitter, right?
You betchu are.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
40 Pages Out the Door, A Review
Me: Bob is nervously awaiting a review from the critic who got to take home the first 40 pages of the book last night.
Critic: I read it last night...couldn't put it down. I'm going to read it again today.
Me: Really? Is that bad like you didn't know what the hell I was talking about and need to read it again or good like you liked it so much you wanted to read it twice?
Critic: I honestly... sincerely thought it was amazing.
Me: I'm blushing.
Critic: Any girl that reads this is going to fall in love with you. I'm actually a little intimidated by you at the moment.
Me: You are too sweet.
Critic: I definitely see the therapeutic nature of this exercise, but I think it has mass application to a greater audience.
Me: Was never the point, but could be part of the dream. Seriously, thank you... I'm very re-energized by your comments... I'm really putting myself into this book, heart and soul both in the energy it takes to write and the opening up of my life stories.
Critic: It's really good. I'm impressed. Your writing style is very approachable and real.
Critic: I read it last night...couldn't put it down. I'm going to read it again today.
Me: Really? Is that bad like you didn't know what the hell I was talking about and need to read it again or good like you liked it so much you wanted to read it twice?
Critic: I honestly... sincerely thought it was amazing.
Me: I'm blushing.
Critic: Any girl that reads this is going to fall in love with you. I'm actually a little intimidated by you at the moment.
Me: You are too sweet.
Critic: I definitely see the therapeutic nature of this exercise, but I think it has mass application to a greater audience.
Me: Was never the point, but could be part of the dream. Seriously, thank you... I'm very re-energized by your comments... I'm really putting myself into this book, heart and soul both in the energy it takes to write and the opening up of my life stories.
Critic: It's really good. I'm impressed. Your writing style is very approachable and real.
Much Ado About Nada
If I'm not sleeping, then I'm working on this book. My initial goal for a complete first draft was October. I was a bit late on that one, but I'm not going to be late on this major edit that I'm doing, which I'd like to have complete by the end of the year.
Going back over the early writings (which were first compiled in March '08, but span throughout my life) has been a struggle. When I write, or edit, I put myself back into the moment. But, aside from that, the more that I tapped out this book, the more I found a particular style that the beginning doesn't reflect... therefore, lots of rewrites.
I gave out the first 40 pages last night to the cute chica that I've been dating, so I'm waiting to see what her response is like this morning!
Eek!
Going back over the early writings (which were first compiled in March '08, but span throughout my life) has been a struggle. When I write, or edit, I put myself back into the moment. But, aside from that, the more that I tapped out this book, the more I found a particular style that the beginning doesn't reflect... therefore, lots of rewrites.
I gave out the first 40 pages last night to the cute chica that I've been dating, so I'm waiting to see what her response is like this morning!
Eek!
Monday, December 01, 2008
Mightier & Thickier!
The pen is mightier than the sword. In this case, it looks like the book is more thick (thickier) than the wine. I'm celebrating the printing of the first draft with a Pinot Noir.Soon, I'll introduce you to the main character. He'll be very happy to meet you... that is, unless you already know him. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Not a Foodie, but Fills Up on Nicknames
I was sitting here thinking about writing (yeah, instead of writing) and made an odd realization.I have a tendency to use food-related nicknames for the girls that I date.
(Yeah, I also had that dirty thought about eating cross my mind, but I'm choosing to leave it unsaid.)
Claire (don't cringe, this is the name we seldom say out loud) was "Cheaz" due to a combo of first initial and last name.
Katie was "KatiePie" because it was a play off the pet name "Cutie Pie."
Molly was "MollyPop" because it was a play off the word "Lollipop."
I'll have to dig deeper to see if any others have had this type of moniker. These three were the most obvious ones that entered my mind.
I'm "Soupy" due to the first letter (B) + my last name (Roth) = Broth, so I suppose it all makes sense.
Right?
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Triple B Raps About His Digs
I know you love the Triple-B (bigBADbob) when he drops some phat lyrics about his night (last night) on the PLAZABUZZ. Check it, yo, by clickity-clicking here.
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